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It usually happens very easily and quickly be it from oral, hand or penetration. However I just want to try something different in our love making.

It freaks him out to add toys. And yes I think he thinks all those things this husband has a fear of. He has even said them. A game, dice, feather, ties just something.

Also what makes it easy for the toy to help orgasm more than non toy stimulation? Is it the vibrating on the clitoris or something.

Does it feel different than a non toy orgasm? Oh and thank you Christina for contributing to the post. Love reading purple comments in the post.

For me it is just fun to play with a toy down there and i I like to see it going in and out of the wife while i play with her. She does really like to feel my penis in her though over a toy, but we do have 2 toys that we like to play with from time to time.

To answer the question — YES, a woman can get addicted to a toy. The same way a man can get addicted to masturbation.

God give women the ability to orgasm, sometimes mutiple times, or not. So what if it takes longer. I am very much against the use of toys or self sex, but am very positive for exploring which ways mutual satisfaction can be had.

This right here. We use toys on a regular basis because my wife suffers from difficulty achieving orgasm. Like minutes of foreplay plus sex to climax for me then minutes of manual stimulation to MAYBE get her to climax.

So we got some toys. Now we can cut the after sex stimulation down to minutes. My wife and I use a variety of toys. We also have a few dildos. But they have always enhanced and not taken away.

My husband and I had not used any toys previously, but after our third daughter was born 20 months ago , orgasm was impossible for those first couple of months, which, like Christina, was very hard after a highly orgasmic pregnancy.

He introduced the idea of some toys to try and help in this area, and I finally agreed. They certainly enhanced our times of intimacy but I still never preferred the toys over him.

The orgasm was never the same, but it was the only way during that time until my hormones regulated.

My husband is very confident in his sexuality and he loved bringing toys into the bedroom. It took him a very long time to come around, though he did eventually and their sex life has improved greatly as a result.

They discussed some guidelines to make sure they never became dependent on a toy but that there were times it can be very useful and can really enhance pleasure.

I agree that marital aids can be helpful, and perhaps even necessary, for some couples. Don't make buying a vibrator a traumatizing experience.

If you MUST have one of those penis-shaped things, most lingerie shops carry them. But most department stores sell the 'wand' or 'handle' vibrators under the guise of "personal massagers," and buying one from reputable department stores means a warranty, you can return it if unsatisfied, and it won't have "Doc Johnson's Love Machine" emblazoned across it in pink letters in case mother comes to visit.

Before using any mechanical vibrator, apply lubrication! Your lover probably does not rank friction burns in the same category as love bites.

Use a water-based lubricant, such as K-Y always recommended , Astroglide, or Wet. Do not purchase a vibrator specifically designed to deliver heat to the body as a sexual device.

If they work on muscles, great, but don't use them on your cunts and cocks. I know of at least one case where a woman burned herself with one of these things because her climaxes were so strong she didn't notice how much the heater had burned her.

Nobody knows how to masturbate YOU better than you do, and the same rule applies to everybody else. Don't use a vibrator on someone else until you've watched them use it on themselves, preferably several times.

Men, especially, should watch how their girlfriends or wives use the vibrator alone before taking the reins. No mechanical piece of plastic can replace the love and affection of a human being; try to see the vibrator as just another toy, and not as competition.

Vibrators cannot do the dishes or take out the garbage, and they cannot gives hugs or kisses. Some women do experience a temporary 'desensitization' after the effects of a powerful vibrator, but put the toy away for a week and sensitivity returns to normal.

There is no clinical evidence that vibrators cause long-term desensitization. Should you buy a vibrator? That's a decision only you can make; I personally have bought two for my wife, and a shower massage, and they've made our sex life a whole lot better, not worse.

As always, your mileage may vary. Dildos come in many different shapes and sizes, but all of them are meant to do one thing: in some way, shape, or form, they are meant to be a substitute or symbol for a real penis.

If you are inclined to believe Freud, then the Washington Monument could be considered a dildo. For our purposes, though, a dildo is a sex toy, usually made of latex or silicone, designed to be inserted into some bodily orifice for sexual pleasure.

People use dildos for a variety of purposes. Although most women can orgasm through clitoral stimulation, many do enjoy the feeling of something hard and thrusting inside them during masturbation.

Many men, gay or otherwise, feel the same way, using small or as your tastes go, large dildos for anal stimulation.

A dildo can be used with a harness to give a woman a penis she can thrust with and still keep her hands free. Buying a dildo involves a number of factors, such as length, thickness, hardness and texture.

It is strongly recommended that you comparison shop with your hands, looking for one with a smooth surface made of a firm, but not too firm, latex.

Dildo shopping is a very personal activity, and you should take your time buying one. The two most common materials for a dildo are silicone and latex.

Silicone is usually more expensive, but most people who use dildos regularly agree that its qualities of matching body temperature and its general texture make it the superior material.

As with anything, you get what you pay for. The most important thing to remember is that you should start small. Get your money's worth out of any toy you buy.

A butt plug is a kind of dildo with a bulge in the center, much like a spindle, so that the shaft gradually thickens, flares out, and then begins to narrow again.

It is designed to provide stimulation to the rectum. In general, once inside the rectal cavity, the flare of a well- chosen buttplug will rub directly against those nerve clusters by the opening of the anus, the ones which signal your need to defecate.

Depending upon how your brain is wired, denying or understanding this signal can be a very pleasurable experience, or an extremely uncomfortable one.

Also, the 'tip' of the well-chosen buttplug will rub against a man's prostate when he moves, sending yet more signals of unknown quality to the brain.

It's all in what you like. Other forms of "butt-plugs" are known as doorknobs or pearlstrings. A doorknob is a round sphere of latex mounted on a narrower shaft.

Like a buttplug, it 'plugs' the orifice, but the sensations are different. A pearlstring is a series of spheres that can be anywhere from a half inch to three inches in diameter that you use to 'stuff' the rectum to create a feeling of fullness.

A cock ring is an object that typically goes around the base of both the penis and scrotum. Since veins are closer to the surface of the skin than arteries, this has the effect of allowing blood to flow into the penis but restricts its ability to flow outwards.

In turn, this makes the penis get hard and stay hard for longer. Obviously, for this to work a cock ring must be put on when the penis is unerect.

Most cock rings are made of chromed steel or rubber. In fact, most of them are little more than high-priced gasket rings or chrome- plated circular chain links one could buy at any hardware store.

They have to be chosen carefully, sized for the user. A too-loose cock ring does nothing, a too-tight cock ring cuts off all retreating blood flow, thus preventing the cock from ever getting soft, which may sound like fun but can become painful after two or more hours, and which may require a trip to the emergency room to remove.

Some cock rings that get around this problem are made with snaps at different places along a strap of leather, therefore making it easy to size and to remove.

The best cock rings are even simpler. Incredible orgasms don't just happen—it's up to every couple to push the envelope and keep things exciting.

Folks that are new to toys are reluctant to spend more than the cost of a dinner out and often get a toy that does not provide the delight they were looking for.

Once people get acquainted with toys, they know that it is worth spending a little extra to get a toy that will feel really good, last a long time and not release chemicals from the rubber it is made of.

Ladies, listen up. There is this myth of being replaced by a good sex toy that we were originally surprised to hear.

Wives And Toys -

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Wives And Toys Video

Daughters Find Out Our Marriage Is Over

I received an email last night with this question:. I worry though that my wife will need this type of stimulation all the time then to orgasm.

So, I asked if I could answer it in a post, because I think a lot of people have this question. Sex toys are fun, in my experience, as the husband, and we use them fairly frequently.

At different times, we use them more or less, or different kinds more or less. This is likely partially due to some recovery from birthing still, some from breastfeeding which tends to affect your libido and arousal , some stress from so many kids which produces cortisol which inhibits dopamine and nitric oxide, which is necessary for arousal , and some lack of sleep, which is also bad for libido and arousal.

However, I have never been concerned that she was addicted to sex toys. Toys are fun to have in the bedroom.

Like Jay said, I never prefer them to him, I rather like the actual sex part of our time together and will always prefer that to the toys, but sometimes they are needed.

I have never thought to myself that I need to sneak into the bedroom and use the toy for a little while, or that sex has become a time to play with the toy rather then focusing on enjoying our time together.

And I complete understand the feeling of not wanting to be replaced. A lot of men have this fear. However, I think of it this way.

Why not? I mean, my wife can use my screwdriver. She does occasionally, but she seems to prefer me to use it. She seems to like me fixing things around the house.

Or that someone else could walk in, pick up my tools and replace me in the family. This is a good point. I use it to give my wife pleasure.

And, when possible, we make sure, from time to time, that she can still orgasm without a sex toy. At different stages of our life, this happens more or less frequently.

At the moment, less, because, as I said, orgasms are very hard to achieve for her. Subscribe to get the 2 page PDF full of questions to help you and your spouse start to talk about your sex life.

My wife and I love using sex toys. We merely use them to supplement the fun. She loves her toys, but we do go in stages also.

If I get the courage again to ask my husband I would love some info to give him. The toy vibrates a lot faster and on a nice continues basis, unlike my hand or finger that might get tired as she is getting close.

Sometimes I use my finger, but she loves the toy because she can control it to her liking by changing the speed of the vibration.

Wish you guys the best Norah. Thank you for responding. He is just totally against toys at this point in life.

Who knows maybe at another time he will be. I just want to add something different. But thank you. Although I seem to be one that is up for more change in ours.

I think at this point he is tired of me asking to try toys. It usually happens very easily and quickly be it from oral, hand or penetration.

However I just want to try something different in our love making. It freaks him out to add toys. And yes I think he thinks all those things this husband has a fear of.

He has even said them. A game, dice, feather, ties just something. Also what makes it easy for the toy to help orgasm more than non toy stimulation?

Is it the vibrating on the clitoris or something. Does it feel different than a non toy orgasm? Oh and thank you Christina for contributing to the post.

Love reading purple comments in the post. For me it is just fun to play with a toy down there and i I like to see it going in and out of the wife while i play with her.

She does really like to feel my penis in her though over a toy, but we do have 2 toys that we like to play with from time to time.

The most important thing to remember is that you should start small. Get your money's worth out of any toy you buy.

A butt plug is a kind of dildo with a bulge in the center, much like a spindle, so that the shaft gradually thickens, flares out, and then begins to narrow again.

It is designed to provide stimulation to the rectum. In general, once inside the rectal cavity, the flare of a well- chosen buttplug will rub directly against those nerve clusters by the opening of the anus, the ones which signal your need to defecate.

Depending upon how your brain is wired, denying or understanding this signal can be a very pleasurable experience, or an extremely uncomfortable one.

Also, the 'tip' of the well-chosen buttplug will rub against a man's prostate when he moves, sending yet more signals of unknown quality to the brain.

It's all in what you like. Other forms of "butt-plugs" are known as doorknobs or pearlstrings. A doorknob is a round sphere of latex mounted on a narrower shaft.

Like a buttplug, it 'plugs' the orifice, but the sensations are different. A pearlstring is a series of spheres that can be anywhere from a half inch to three inches in diameter that you use to 'stuff' the rectum to create a feeling of fullness.

A cock ring is an object that typically goes around the base of both the penis and scrotum. Since veins are closer to the surface of the skin than arteries, this has the effect of allowing blood to flow into the penis but restricts its ability to flow outwards.

In turn, this makes the penis get hard and stay hard for longer. Obviously, for this to work a cock ring must be put on when the penis is unerect.

Most cock rings are made of chromed steel or rubber. In fact, most of them are little more than high-priced gasket rings or chrome- plated circular chain links one could buy at any hardware store.

They have to be chosen carefully, sized for the user. A too-loose cock ring does nothing, a too-tight cock ring cuts off all retreating blood flow, thus preventing the cock from ever getting soft, which may sound like fun but can become painful after two or more hours, and which may require a trip to the emergency room to remove.

Some cock rings that get around this problem are made with snaps at different places along a strap of leather, therefore making it easy to size and to remove.

The best cock rings are even simpler. They're a piece of leather or soft rope tied into place. Being both infinitely adjustable and easy to remove or cut off with a pair of nurses shears, they serve all the purpose of the toy- or hardware- store bought models.

Putting on a solid cock ring can be tricky-- and taking it off can be even trickier! You have to be soft to do either, putting first your testicles through the ring, and then your penis, since at that stage your penis should be softer and more flexible than the always- solid testes.

Taking it off is the reverse process, but since one of the purposes of a cock ring is to keep you hard, this can be easier said than done.

It has the effect of irritating the outer mucous membranes of the vagina and the penis glans head , thus bringing your genitals to your attention and sometimes giving you the impression that you are 'aroused.

Spanish fly is also quite poisonous, and therefore illegal in the United States. Dosage is very hard to determine, as is quality, and you're just as likely to die from Spanish fly as you are to get laid.

What is sold as "Spanish Fly" in the United States is usually sold with the terms "alleged," "spurious," or "placebo. Most "Spanish Fly" is nothing more than a cheap blend of vitamins or simply a sugar pill.

A "lubricant" sometimes referred to as a "sex lube," or just "lube" , is usually a water-based, condom-friendly liquid or jelly used to enhance or replace a woman's natural lubrication.

Some people regard lubricants as a must-have item in this age of safer sex and they are an essential ingrediant to successful anal intercourse. The use of a lubricant on the inside of a condom can make the sensations delivered to the penis much stronger.

Prior to the current, safer-sex era, many people used oil-based lubricants, using vaseline, vegetable oil, or mineral oil.

None of these are particularly healthy. Oils coat the inside of the vagina and rectum, providing a breeding ground for dangerous bacteria.

Petroleum-based oils destroy latex upon contact, making them useless for use with condoms for safer sex or contraception. Even monogamous couples who don't have to worry about safer sex if they use certain forms of contraception: if an oil destroys the latex of condoms, it will also destroy the latex of diaphragms, cervical caps, and sponges, as well as the protective coatings around some IUDs.

Most lubricants are made up of one or more commonly several of the following: glycerin, hydroxyethyl cellulose, or propelyene glycol.

Some add aloe vera or vitamin E acetate. All add a pH balancing agent, and most have some sort of preservative, since the first three items are all essentially food additives, "thickening agents.

Although the most common brand of sex lubricant is still "KY Jelly," you should be aware that KY is intended for single-use medical environments; the insertion of a thermometer or catheter, for example, and is deliberately forumlated to break down quickly.

This is not good for situations where the lubricant is expected to last a long time, such as during intercourse. Both Wet and Elbow Grease also make oil-based lubricants "for masturbation purposes only," so read the label carefully before you buy.

These are just a few of many lubricants on the market. Some people like it thick, others runny, others need it to be slick enough to grease their engines and others need it to last long enough to go for hours.

Small sampler bottles 1 oz. Figure out which one you like best. There is some debate about this, but one thing is hard to deny: clothing is sexy.

Whether it's a silk nightgown from Victoria's Secret, a military uniform, the leather jacket of a biker or the riding clothes of an equestrienne, some form of clothing is usually someone else's ideal of "sexy clothing.

Fetish wear is usually clothing made of leather, latex, or rubber cut in a specific style to accentuate the body and show it off in a sexually arousing fashion.

Fetish wear is a specific genre of clothing and as recognizable as such as swimwear or lingere. Fetish wear's most common characteristic is price; the stuff's expensive.

Remember that it is only a fad, after all, and will be as out of style as the discowear of the 's. That depends entirely on who you and your lover are.

If you like your lover to wear silk, say so-- hopefully they'll enjoy the suggestion. Leather, denim, uniform clothing-- allow your imagination to run wild.

A more outrageous suggestion is period clothing, such as the 's, or the 's. And even further out, one could suggest wearing masks to allow fantasy to run riot-- animal masks are a popular item in this field.

Many lingere shops actively sell food items-- whipped cream, powdered honey, flavored jellies and jams. I guess the idea is that if they're sold in lingere shops they must be sexy.

Many romances start over dinner, and cooking for someone can be as intimate, or as traumatic, as having sex with them.

While almost any kind of food can be sexy, some are more traditional than others. Sweets, such as chocolates, are actual tokens of affection, exchanged on Saint Valentine's day as well as other occassions.

In the bedroom, chocolate can be spread on the body and licked off. The same is true of honey or any other spreadable substance. Whipped cream is another popular food item.

And a small spill of champagne over the vulva can take care of any concerns one might have about the taste-- for a little while, at least.

Fruits can be sexual as well-- bananas are often compared to penises or the other way around because of their shape and size.

Xaveria Hollander, "The happy hooker," once referred to peaches as "the fruit that looks most like a woman's vulva.

Almost anything edible can be sexy. At least two movies in recent times have depicted sushi as sexy.

Placing doughnuts around a man's erect penis and then eating them off can be an act of trust. Be aware that any sugary substance placed into the vagina will vastly increase the chance of a yeast infection.

It is best to avoid getting chocolate, honey, and the like into the vagina. Nothing in this FAQ is intended to be taken as a recommendation or endorsement of illegal substance use.

It is the intention of this FAQ to accurately report the effects of those substances that its readers may choose to use upon their sexual functioning, both positive and negative.

The only "legal" drug in this short list of mind-altering chemicals, alcohol is widely available in most of the known world. Alcohol is primarily a depressant, although it small doses it may cause free-association that leads to violence where hostility already exists.

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